What’s that? More student-y stereotypes? You bet your red Chuck Taylors* it is!
There’s at least one in every house/flat/dormitory in every university town or campus in the world. This is the housemate that never washes up but criticises the way everyone else does it, eats other people’s food, wakes everyone else up in the middle of the night burning toast and bitches when asked for their share of bills. It is impossible to call them out on any of this behaviour too, as their default position in any argument is ‘defensive’.
They also have an unnatural talent at making everyone else out to be the arsehole. No matter how you broach the subject, you will end up looking like the bad one if you try to say anything. Best just leave them to it, they’ll learn some responsibility eventually. Or become politicians. Continue reading →
This lot often come from deeply religious backgrounds or are the children of clergyman.
During Fresher’s Week they will discover the delights of sex, drink, drugs and partying. For the rest of their degree they will attempt to:
a) shag their way through as much of the student population as possible.
b) snort or smoke (or snort and smoke) their way through every substance they can get hold of.
c) party to the point of hospitalisation.
d) all of the above.
Throughout your degree, mentioning this person’s name will receive a chorus of ‘How have they not been kicked off the course yet?!’ Continue reading →
It doesn’t matter which university you attend (at the moment anyway- it could all change once the fees increase), you will ALWAYS meet at least one person that falls into the following groups:
The cultured ones
It could be that they quote Nietzsche at every opportunity. Maybe they boast about not owning a television. Or perhaps it’s their continual insistence that they are deep and spiritual because they’ve been travelling. It could even be the way they believe that lectures and seminars are actually just a conversation between them and the lecturer…
However they do it, just know that they are better than you. That’s all they really want you to know anyway.
The parish elders
These are the extra mature students in the class. It is easy to mistake them for the lecturer when they walk in on the first day, such is the air of experience and sage wisdom that surrounds them.