Such as…

Often found on (but not exclusive to) motorways, usually in expensive German cars (not wanting to name brands but most culprits tend to drive a make that begins with B and rhymes with key-phlegm-wobble-through). By changing lanes or making turns without prior warning, this tireless community servant aims to ensure that other road users remain alert and on their toes at all times. We salute you.

Often found on (but not exclusive to) motorways, usually in expensive German cars (can you see a trend forming here?) or 4x4s. The usual trick is to come tearing up behind you like they’re being chased in an effort to scare you into moving out of the way. If that fails, they will flash their headlights in the vain hope that they will induce an epileptic fit which will cause you to lose control of your vehicle and free up the lane. Just let them have their fun, it’s probably the only time they ever get to exert their masculinity.

Quick question: If you owned a shitty little car (a Saxo or Corsa, for instance) and had saved up a couple of grand to jazz it up, what would you buy?

If you answered ‘a better car‘, then congratulations, you’re not a boy-racer.

If you answered ‘seventeen inch rims, a plastic body kit, a massive spoiler and a huge sound system‘, then I’m afraid you are destined for a life of sitting in car parks at night, boring motor-talk and hairdresser girlfriends. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course…)

For this driver, arrival at their destination is usually due to luck rather than skill or competence. Like The indicator denier, this person drives on faith rather than eyesight and judgement, relying on the perception and reaction time of other road users in order to get to places.

You could say that their driving style is aggressive with a touch of ‘fuck it’.

For Part Two click here. For Part Three click here

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