If you didn’t catch Part One when it went up (there’s less pointing and laughing… About the same amount of Phil Collins though), or you fancy refreshing your memory, click here.
This post has caused me issues. It seemed so easy at first; think of some horrendous rap songs that sample a well-known track in the backing beat. What could be easier, right?
The first three choices blooooooow, of that there can be no doubt. And there was no chance I was putting a link to anything featuring Professor Green’s strange nasal accent on my website (when he says ‘ahhhhh’, he means ‘eye’, apparently- I know, mind= blown, right?) so his decimation of Where is My Mind by The Pixies is something you are going to have seek out and be outraged by on your time. But if I’m completely honest, it got tough quick, as the majority of songs I remembered as being terrrrrrrible, actually had a weird novelty value upon revisiting.
You try playing that X-to-tha-Zee track below and not cracking a smile when he starts dropping knowledge over that loop. Go on. It can’t be done, unless you’re dead inside.
Who knew Toto’s Africa would work as a rap track? And how awesome is DJ Premier for including the ‘biff, baff, POW’ Batman sound effects in that beat for Snoop Dogg? All the awesome, that’s what. You know what I mean.
Now let’s get these first few out the way so we can chuckle at the last two:
Fort Minor ft Juelz Santana, Ryu & Celph Titled – SCOM
Now, calm down. You know that song exists now, there’s no unlearning that information. For that, I am deeply sorry. The next should make you laugh though…
Bone Thugs N Harmony ft Phil Collins – Home
Oh yes. The dream team, eh?
Yep. This happened. Not happy with just looping a bit of one of his tracks, BTNH went that extra mile and invited everyone’s least favourite deaf drummer tax exile to belt out the chorus too. Look; there’s a bad video and everything!
You see Big PC’s ice grill at 0:33? Hi-larious.
Slaughterhouse – Get Up
Joe Budden, Joell Ortiz, Crooked I and Royce da 5-9 together in a group? Fuck yeah. Ali in the Jungle by The Hours? Also fuck yeah.
Joe Budden, Joell Ortiz, Crooked I and Royce da 5-9 rapping over Ali in the Jungle by The Hours? Fuck NO.
So, awesome + awesome = AAAAAHHHHHH MY EARS!!! Who knew?
Now, those guilty pleasures. You may cringe when you hear them, but here goes:
Xzibit – Heart of Man
As if you need telling which certified ’80s banger this loops…
Motherfuckin’ TOTO, that’s who!
Snoop Dogg ft Lady of Rage & RBX – Batman and Robin
No words do this song justice. Just bask in it:
I found quite a lot of ‘so bad it’s good’ so check back soon for more.
Do any songs with famous samples make your balls retract? Feel free to share. I bet Clash fans die a little inside every time they hear Paper Planes by MIA, for example…