So it’s that time of year… The end of it, when we all take a break from getting ‘Christmas’ shitfaced (with a side of eating sausage rolls and Pringles from a pretty dish) to getting ‘New Year’ shitfaced (with a side of eating sausage rolls and Pringles from a pretty dish).
Some of us go out on the town, some of us stay home with friends or family. All of us will have a distinctly average night. Here’s why:
Paying to get into pubs
Of course, there’s nothing most of us love more than paying upwards of twenty pounds to spend an evening in a large room that stinks of stale beer, sweat and toilet and getting nothing but the standard night out in a pub (but busier) in return.
The real bonus is: you get to spend the evening with mugs who are willing to pay upwards of twenty pounds to spend an evening in a pub. That has angry bouncers making sure nobody enjoys themselves too much. And only sells shit lager and vinegary cider… Where do I buy my ticket?
A little while ago, I was asked by someone very dear to me to accompany them to an ’employability workshop’ for unemployed graduates. Being the warm, generous, caring soul you all know me to be, I said ‘sure’, then found out it was on a Sunday. Not happy. But it was at a big, wanky hotel and they were laying on a free lunch. Still not happy, but happier…
So we turn up at said big wanky hotel and wander about the place completely failing to find the room the workshop is in (picking up a few other strays along the way) as some numbnut thought a single A4 sheet was plenty of signage. Twenty minutes late, we finally get to where we’re meant to be and we sneak in all casual-like.
What followed was three hours of the most awkward, uncomfortable, utterly optimism-draining ‘ice-breakers’ I have ever had the misfortune to be involved in (You remember that I’m from Croydon, don’t you?). It was so bad, we scarpered at lunchtime- even the lure of curly sandwiches wasn’t enough to keep us there.
But I did learn some stuff and I got this blog post out of it so it weren’t all bad, you could argue…
Anyway, here are a few choice observations I made during this strange, soul-destroying event: Continue reading →