Nobody is perfect. We all have little personality quirks and tics that make us who we are and that’s great. Diversity is the spice of life after all… Unless you’re horribly xenophobic and racist. If that’s the case, diversity is the source of fear and confusion, but that’s a different post entirely. However, there are a few traits that some people exhibit that are so obnoxious and irritating for anyone around them that the only logical solution is to punch them in their stupid faces… But of course you can’t do that, because you’d end up looking like the arsehole if you did. So instead we suffer in silence, waiting till they are not around so we can talk shit about them behind their back… Damn you, society!
Here’s a smattering of things people do that if you have any sense at all will piss you off too:
Right. We’ve covered the positive side of things, now it’s time we looked at why a lot of people cannot stand this festive time of year.
Where the fuck to begin?
Pretentious adverts Whether it’s M&S whoring themselves out to the X-Factor crowd (which stinks of desperation), the diabetes-inducing BBC sing-along, that aardvark looking creature in the Iceland ads trying to flog you suspiciously cheap ‘meat’, the idealised little gobshite in the fucking John Lewis advert (so Morrissey is tolerable if you get someone else to sing his songs, eh? Who knew!), or the Littlewoods horror story that uses small children in a lazy attempt to mask its message of shameless consumerism, this time of the year advertisers crank the levels of saccharin up to eleven and morons fall for it. Every time.
Maybe it’s because advertisers and retailers have been ramming it down our throats for the last two months, or maybe it’s because I can’t think of anything else to write about… Anyway, it’s high time I did a post or two about Christmas.
Everyone loves Christmas, right? I mean, what’s not to love when…