The internet: Who’s likely to comment

The Internet by Tom NashAh the interwebs: giving pussies the ability to say things to people anonymously that they would never have the balls to say in real life since 1991.

Comment boxes/forums are a staple of most blogs and websites, this one included. Here’s a selection of some of the people you’ll find leaving their thoughts:

The critic
Did you know that if you have a computer with a connection to the internet, you automatically become a qualified music, film, TV and literary critic? You didn’t? That’s because it’s not true. Doesn’t stop people trying though…

The pointless
Similar to The Ronseal Facebook status updater, this person feels the need to inform the world that they enjoyed that Youtube video. That’s all. Nothing useful, informative or insightful, just that they ‘lol’d’. These are probably the same people that text in their opinions to current affairs programme (that’s the news, fucko). Remember, just because there is a comment box, it doesn’t mean you have to say something.

The troll (previously known as The shit-stirrer)
Got nothing to do? Fancy a giggle? Log on to the forums of your football team’s local rival or a Twilight/Justin Beiber fan site and say that they’re shit. Actually, just say it in the comment section under a Youtube video of anything subjective. Congratulations, you are a troll.

 See those passionate responses? They’re from:

The supporter
Whether you are reading the comments under a Youtube video (arguably more entertaining/depressing than any video on there), checking out responses to a question on Yahoo Answers or browsing a forum, if someone’s been trolling, you will find a post by this commenter. Usually littered with spelling mistakes and missed words, they take the bait every time and post enthusiastic essays on why {insert generic pop star name here} is the greatest thing in the universe. They never realise that the best tactic is to not rise to it and IGNORE THEM.

ThE aLtErNaTe CaPiTaLiSeR
fUcK kNoWs WhY pEoPlE dO iT- iT tAkEs An AgE tO wRiTe, LoOks RiDiCuLoUs AnD iS qUiTe DiFfIcUlT tO rEaD. sOmEtHiNg OnLy A bElL-eNd WoUld Do.