Creative writing & observations from an optimistic cynic.
Facebook: Obligation friends
We’ve all got them. Those people on your friend list that you are obligated to keep there. They may constantly spout inane nonsense, you may hate them but until they remove you or close their account, on that list of ‘friends’ they will remain. Thank Christ for that ‘hide’ button, eh? Here’s a few examples:
Once you were the overly sentimental couple but those days are over. Now they exist on your list to either reassure you that you did the best thing or to feed your bitterness and resentment toward them and the entire relationship. Depending on how it ended of course.
The former schoolmate
The friend request came through, your cursor hovered over the reject button for a long time, then you realised you had to accept. Maybe it’s the kid you bullied, in which case, you can reassure yourself that all the trauma you inflicted on them did not prevent their success in life. Maybe it’s the kid that bullied you, in which case you can reassure yourself that karma exists. Win-win?
Someone on my friend list once had ‘If I see you I’ll fucking cut you, you c**t’ as a status update. Pleasant, eh? It is in the interest of public safety to keep this person on your list. They do often provide a handy list of places to avoid on a night out- bonus!
The mate of a mate
You met them once. Maybe on a stag or hen night. Maybe on a night out in town. You got left together for a while. You had nothing in common. It was painful. Yet they still added you.
Those of us with older parents are lucky; our folks have address books, they don’t need social networking. But spare a thought for those who (are foolish enough to) have their parents on their friend list; embarrassing wall posts, reprimands for bad language on status updates and outrage at drunken antics photos abound! It’s best to ignore a friend request from your mum. Once you accept you can’t remove her; that’s your mum, dude!